Have you met someone new, but you really want to know if he’s a good guy?
The dating game can be so mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. You’re a good person, and you are hoping beyond hope that you can find a guy who shares your values and lives up to your expectations; someone you don’t have to worry about lying to you, sneaking around behind your back, or cheating on you.
If you’ve had the wool pulled over your eyes one too many times, you may feel disheartened and jaded, thinking that every guy out there is a “bad egg”. But then, just as you’re about to throw in the towel on the whole “finding your Prince Charming” thing, you meet another guy who makes you swoon. But before you allow yourself to fall head-over-heels, you can’t help but proceed with caution because the last thing you want to do is be tricked buy his charm and charisma, only to learn that he’s anything but decent and have your heart shattered into a million pieces…. again.
Questioning the authenticity of the guy you’re seeing is totally understandable. So, if you’re wondering if he’s actually a decent guy, here’s a look at some telltale signs that indicate he’s a genuine good guy and really cares about your relationship – and your future.
He doesn’t make you feel self-conscious
A good guy will never, EVER make you feel self-conscious. In fact, he’ll do the exact opposite. Those times when you are totally questioning your looks and feel completely and totally unattractive? A good guy will instantly make you feel like you are the most beautiful gorgeous in the entire world. He won’t just say, “No, baby, you look great!” as he barely looks away from his XBOX, PS4, phone, or whatever other device he’s entranced with. No, a good guy will stop everything he’s doing when you question you’re looks, look straight into your eyes, and tell you; “You are the most breathtakingly beautiful person I have ever seen!” In fact, you won’t even have to ask him how you look; he’ll catch you completely off-guard and tell you how stunning you are when you least expect it; like when you’re in the kitchen, covered with goop, or right when you wake up your hair is in every direction and you still have sleep in your eyes.
He’s never discouraging
Genuinely good-natured people don’t knock other people down; they build them up. They truly want the best for others.
If the guy you are seeing makes a habit of nitpicking everything you do, or if he laughs when you tell him about your goals and dreams, you should seriously consider ditching him. But, if he is your biggest cheerleader and he’s always rooting you on (even if some of your ideas seem a little bit harebrained), it’s a sign that you’ve found yourself a good one. As a matter of fact, a good guy will not only cheer you on, he’ll go out of his way to help you achieve your goals. Say, for example, you love to craft and you are thinking about turning your passion into a business, he won’t just tell you it’s a good idea, he’ll lend a hand and try to help you turn your dream into a reality. For instance, he might start looking up ideas to help you get your business up and running and even brainstorm some clever names.
You aren’t the only person that he’s supportive of. He brings encouragement to everyone he knows. He’s the go-to guy that his family, friends, and colleagues turn to when they need advice and support because he never says a discouraging word and he’s full of support.
He Isn’t Selfish
A good guy will take a real interest in what’s going with your life. He always (well, almost always) ask you how your day was, and he won’t just ask for the sake of asking. He’s genuinely interested in hearing about it. If it was a good day, he’ll give you a fist bump (or maybe something not as cheesy, but if he does) and say something congratulatory. If it was a less-than stellar day, he’ll let you lean on him as you vent and go out of his way to turn things around and lift you up. In fact, if you’re having a crummy day, you won’t even have to tell him that it was a crap show, he’ll just know! That’s because he’ll be so tuned in that he’ll be able to instantly tell if something is awry. And he won’t hesitate to ask you what’s wrong, or to do something to make you feel better, he’ll just do it!
Though it isn’t healthy for your relationship to be the one and only thing that your guy focuses on, it should be a really big part of his life, which means that he should be present in it. With that said, he won’t put the guys, his video games, his work, or whatever else he has going on in his life before you. He’ll put you first.
If he’s really into you, a genuinely good guy will never ditch you for anything; you’ll be one of his biggest priorities. While of course, he should also have his own interests and other things that are important to him, but you should most certainly be high on his list of priorities. If you feel like you are constantly being shunned for something “better” than you might want to reevaluate your relationship. If he isn’t present and makes you feel like you’re second fiddle now, things will only get worse in the future. However, if your guy is present and you are one of his primary concerns, then you’ve found yourself a good guy.
He doesn’t pressure you
Good guys will never, never, NEVER pressure you into doing anything that you aren’t comfortable with. That doesn’t just mean sex, either (but he should most certainly never pressure you into doing that!). It also means anything else that you may not be too keen on doing. For example, if you aren’t ready to meet his friends or his family, he shouldn’t constantly bring it up or make you feel like you have to. Of course, he has every right to bring it up once in a while, but if he’s badgering you about it or basically forcing you into doing something that you aren’t ready to, then you might want to take a step back and reassess your relationship.
A good guy will understand your feelings – and respect them. He’ll be patient with you and will never force you into doing anything. You have your reasons for not wanting to have sex just yet, or meet his friends or parents. Maybe your last relationship was a disaster and you just aren’t ready to do certain things until you’re totally sure that the dude you are seeing is a good guy. Whatever the situation and the reason may be, a decent man will never make you feel pressured. He’ll be completely understanding and tolerant. When you’re ready, you’ll let him know, and he’ll be OK with that.
He’s the very definition of respectful
Good guys treat their ladies with complete and total respect. We’re not just talking about holding doors open and leading you into a room (though those are definitely signs of respect); we’re talking about the way that he speaks to you, treats you, and even looks at you. He’ll never condescend you or put you down. He’ll never make you feel like you are lesser than him or anyone else. A good guy will always be respectful of you and your feelings.
He won’t just be respectful toward you, either; he’ll be respectful of everyone he meets, too. For instance, when you go out to eat, he’ll never speak down to the waiter that is serving you, snap his fingers at him, or make him feel like he is worth less than anyone else. A good guy will treat everyone with the same level of respect and like an equal, no matter what their profession, lifestyle, education level, or socioeconomic status may be.
He’ll NEVER abuse you
Abuse of any type – mental, emotional, or physical – should NOT be tolerated. In fact, if the guy that you are seeing abuse you in any way, shape, or form, run, not walk the hell out of there! Don’t make excuses, assume that you did something that warranted it, or think that it will get better, it won’t! If he has ever laid a hand on you or done anything else that is abusive in nature, things will only get worse. Trust us! You deserve more than that.
Wrapping It Up
If the guy you are seeing is kind, thoughtful, respectful, patient, present, and makes you feel like the most important person in the world, then it’s safe to say that you have found yourself a keeper. But, if you’re even making a list and ticking off boxes, you might want to reevaluate your relationship because if the guy is a good one, you wouldn’t ever feel the need to question his authenticity.
Photo by Allan Filipe Santos Dias on Unsplash