He gives you butterflies, he’s romantic, and funny, intelligent and kind. He ticks all of the boxes and meets all of your requirements for an ideal man.
It’s early in the relationship and you want to make sure you do this right. How do you do this right? Is there any right way to do this? Dating is tough, it can be nerve-racking and awkward, but it can be even harder when you really like the other person.
It makes you second guess yourself more, you are more conscious of what is coming out of your mouth. You want to come off in just the right way that will make him like you back just as much.
Here are some tips for dating a guy you really like – that will help you catch the man that you adore.
Don’t Over-Think Too Much
Over-thinking and over-analyzing is so easy after a date. You might wonder “was he laughing at my joke just to be nice?”, “why did I tell him about the story where I fell while skiing?”, “he must think I’m such a loser”, or “did he think that it was weird that I ordered such a large meal?”. But these kinds of thoughts are not productive whatsoever. They are going to drive you crazy.
Play it by ear, see how things go. There is no way that he’s thinking these things that you are. It is most likely that he is thinking about how pretty you look when you smile, or how intelligent you are, or how you are witty and funny and so easy to talk to.
Remind Yourself That You Are Good Enough
It is too easy to be self-critical. And if you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect somebody else to love you. Yes, that was very cliché. But it is true.
You need to realize that he is great, but you are great too. So instead of tripping up over why a guy like that is with you, you need to know your self worth.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself, and doubting your worth, switch it to something positive. Get in the habit of this, and your mind will benefit immensely.
Keep Your Expectations Realistic
Often when we are dating someone that we end up really liking, we idealize them in our heads. We imagine them to be perfect, and since no one is perfect, this can come crashing down on us.
If we keep our expectations realistic, we won’t be disappointed later.
And if they exceed our expectations, we are ecstatic.
It is still early in your relationship with that person, so keep calm and enjoy it.
Embrace It And Don’t Play Games
Often in our modern-day dating culture, we like to play games. We play hard to get, and we don’t like to show our true emotions, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
But this is so confusing, and so unnecessary. Why are we hiding our feelings, when embracing our feelings and expressing them could advance a relationship more quickly and effectively?
I’m not saying that you should tell him that you love him on the second date, or even the third or fourth. But you don’t need to wait to reply to his text message, or wait for him to text you first, in aims of not seeming too eager.
Show him that you are really liking him and enjoying the time that you’ve spent together. Send him the right message, that you really do like him. Because if you’re feeling it, it’s likely that he is too.
Don’t Get Needy And Take It Slow
Okay so don’t play games, but also don’t act absolutely obsessed with him either. You don’t need to be texting him at all times of the day, sometimes that does happen naturally, but if he doesn’t seem to be much of a constant chatter, don’t force it. Play it by ear.
Don’t start showing up at his work or home unannounced, you are still getting to know one another and while it’s encouraged to show him that you are interested and that you like him, you don’t need to act obsessed or needy.
Take it slow, don’t push anything too hard. Enjoy the beginning of your relationship! It is so much fun to be at this stage and you should relish every minute of it.
If You Aren’t Exclusive Yet, Don’t Be Afraid To Keep Dating Other Guys
You might think that this might be difficult. How do you keep your options open when you’re already infatuated with this guy? If you haven’t had “the talk” yet, and set out that you are going to be an exclusive relationship with each other, date other men casually.
It helps to know what else is out there, and it keeps your mind from being on just him. Once you have that talk though, stay committed to him, you like him a lot for a reason.
If You Want To Be Exclusive, Talk To Him About It
You really like him. You’ve already been dating for a while, and you’re ready to say goodbye to the other men that you’ve been dating casually. But you can’t really gage how he feels about it. You’re scared to bring it up because you might get rejected.
If being forward isn’t really your thing, try to say something along the lines of this. “This guy that I have been talking to for a little while now asked me out for drinks, I didn’t want to say yes right away cause I’m not sure about what is going on between us and I didn’t want to hurt you.” If he seems not to care too much, well then, he’s not ready for the next step yet, and that sucks but at least you know.
If he gets defensive and says that he doesn’t want you to date other guys, congratulations you are now exclusive with the guy that you like so much!
Keep in mind that you never want to put pressure on someone and shouldn’t take it personally if someone isn’t ready to be exclusive with you. Men are different than women in so many ways, and one of these ways is that they are more hesitant when it comes to commitment.
This isn’t something to be offended by, if he seems to enjoy the time you spend together as much as you do there is no reason to pressure him and turn him off from the situation.
Don’t Change Yourself For Him
He loves basketball, so you exclaim in passion that you love it too! But you don’t, you absolutely hate basketball. And now he’s asking you to watch it with him all the time.
This could have been avoided. You could have told him the truth! We get it, you like him so much that you just want him to like you as much back and you assume that having all of the same interests will do that. But it won’t, he’s just going to think it’s weird when you finally have to admit that you actually hate whatever interest it was you originally told him you loved.
Stay true to yourself, he’ll fall in love with the real you. And much to popular belief, men love it when you assert yourself and be honest. If he loves something, and you hate it, you can participate in it because you like him but don’t pretend to be something you’re not.
Show him that you’re doing it for him, give it a chance and maybe one day you will actually like it, don’t create some fake identity in order to make him like you back.
Also, don’t stop doing things that you like to do for him. Don’t change your schedule for him, and don’t make yourself so easily available at all times. If something is inconvenient for you, you don’t need to do it for him at this stage in the relationship.
You are still your own person, and it is still early on, you like him a lot but you are still dating and therefore you need to maintain your autonomy. It is not attractive to be at someone’s beck and call.
Show Interest In His Hobbies And Invite Him To Share Yours
If you really like him, chances are you will like doing things together. As explained above, if you don’t like something he loves, you shouldn’t pretend that you do, but giving things a chance shows him that you really care.
Try and learn from him, listen to him talk about his passions and his ambitions. Expect the same from him. Invite him to come with you rock climbing or introduce him to your favorite book. If he doesn’t enjoy it, don’t be offended or discouraged. But if you really like each other it is important to try to enjoy each other’s interests.
Giving it a shot is usually all one needs to appreciate the effort. And it will give you lots to talk about, and fun and interesting date ideas that you both can enjoy.
Try New Things Together
Thinking outside the box for your dates is a great way to create memories together that divert from the usual dinner and drinks that most dates entail.
Keeping dates more active, rather than just sitting and watching a movie or having dinner is a great way to bond and it takes a lot of the pressure off. If you are always just sitting and talking to each other, there is a lot more opportunity for awkward moments, which even though they are natural it often puts both parties off.
Take a cooking class together, try a new sport, or go to the new exhibit at your local museum. Have fun together and create experiences that will have an impact. Also, don’t rely on him to always come up with the ideas for dates!
Men like to hear what you want to do as well and it can take a lot of the pressure off him if you do so.
Introduce Him To Your Friends
Sometimes we build people up in our heads, and a great way to get another perspective is to introduce a guy to our friends. When they confirm that they can see what you see it is the best feeling. BUT, if they don’t, you shouldn’t take that too much to heart.
Some people get a bit awkward or standoffish in social situations. And this isn’t because that’s who they really are, it’s because they are a bit uncomfortable and nervous, and take some time to open up.
If your friends absolutely hate him, then it might be worth hearing their reasons. Sometimes being smitten with someone blocks out the bad qualities. So while introducing him to your friends is a great way to take a small step in the relationship, and get perspective on what you see in him, it is still something you can take with a grain of salt.
Don’t Be Afraid To Have Conversations That Are Deeper
When you start to really like someone, there comes a time where you should learn more about them. Learn more about what makes them who they are, what makes them tick, and even about their past.
Having deeper and more meaningful conversations is a key way to create a stronger bond and connection between the two of you. Of course, this should come naturally, you shouldn’t pry out of nowhere. But, for example, if he brings up that his parents are divorced you could ask questions about this, show that you care. And if he asks you questions that might encourage you to open up, don’t be afraid to do so.
His responses will tell a lot about him. You can try and talk about your life’s objections, what you think life means, what you think happiness means and so on.
There are so many interesting things to talk about in life, beyond our mundane everyday conversations about what to watch on Netflix, and where we went out this weekend. Try and have these conversations with the person that you like so much
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