Speed dating is one of the greatest things that a single gal can do for her love life, and this is for so many reasons. It is fun, exciting, interesting and likely puts you out of your comfort zone in all the right ways. In this day and age, it is hard to meet people, but speed dating combats this by letting you meet lots of people all at once.
Speed dating might make you feel anxious, or nervous, silly or apprehensive. And this totally makes sense. Below are some speed dating tips for ladies to help you combat these negative feelings and associations with speed dating, and help you to feel excited, outgoing, happy, and like your most comfortable self, in order to make your experience an awesome one. Check out our speed dating do’s and dont’s.
Choose the speed dating event that is right for you
There are so many different speed dating events out there these days, especially if you live in a big city there are often ones that cater to your specific needs. Whether that be people of a certain age group, ethnic group, religion, etc. you really can find whatever it is you’re looking for.
And of course, there are generic ones that will have all sorts of people, it is always good to expand your horizons and sometimes meeting someone completely unlike you can turn the best results!
Look and feel like the star you are
Beauty is skin deep. But, getting that perfect outfit together, the one that makes us feel sexy, confident, and comfortable transfers through to our personalities. When we look good, we often feel great. And this will shine through to your dates. Whatever it is that you wear, make sure that it makes you feel your best. And if you’re someone who can throw on a pair of jeans and a nice blouse and be good to go, then do that! Be yourself in the way you dress and look.
Because that is what will truly shine through to your personality. If you love to dress up, then go ahead and dress up. In that, you don’t want to stand out like a sore thumb. So, no ball gowns ladies. But if you feel like wearing a sexy dress that hugs you in all the right places and makes you feel like Marilyn Monroe, then go ahead, rock that dress!
Put some makeup on if that makes you feel good! Curl your hair, if you like, or try that braid and up-do combo you’ve been eyeing on Instagram lately. If you normally are just a mascara-and-go kind of girl, maybe spice this up by adding some eyeliner and some bronzer. If you feel like going all out with the makeup and hair, go for it.
Really, just do whatever makes you feel like the best version of yourself. Because again, this sense of confidence will shine through to all of the interactions you have for the night.
We all have our own way of relaxing to make ourselves feel at ease. Speed dating can be very nerve-racking, so it is always good to take some extra steps to make yourself feel great before you leave for the event.
If you are a drinker, have a drink before you go – DO NOT get drunk. Being drunk or even noticeably tipsy on a first date is not a good look, especially not for the first impression with your potential future love. But if liquid courage helps you out, there is no shame in embracing that.
If you’re not a drinker, do something else that calms you/makes you feel comfortable and the most like yourself. Whether that is chamomile tea, a coffee, putting some lavender oil in your aromatherapy diffuser, or even just a warm bath before getting ready. Do what you gotta do ladies.
There are also many mental exercises that you can do in order to feel like you are relaxed and on top of the world. List your strengths in your head. Try to think solely positive thoughts. If you find yourself thinking of all of the things that could go wrong, try to change these over to thoughts of all of the things that could go right. Or come back to this article and read a few more speed dating tips for ladies, to help you go on.
Embrace getting out of your comfort zone
Coming out of your comfort zone is a great thing, it allows us to have experiences that we aren’t accustomed to in our everyday life and this is so important, especially in dating.
You might have a “type”; a specific kind of guy that you always go for. You have a list of traits in which every guy must meet in order for you to be happy. But if you’ve seen the show “Sex and the City”, you know that Harry and Charlotte’s romance is the perfect example of why this is a silly way to select people for your romantic life! Charlotte has a type A personality, she always wanted someone who was classically handsome, polite, and charming. But instead she fell in love with someone who was not conventionally handsome, had a little bit of a quirky personality, and yet they were more than perfect for each other. Once she got over this idea of a man having to meet her ideal type, she realized that true love comes from so much more than that.
Another example would be like when you were a kid, and your parents wanted you to try something that you didn’t want to at all because you assumed you wouldn’t like it. And they’d always say “just try it! How can you know you don’t like it if you’ve never even tried it?” And this is true for dating, especially in speed dating, you need to try things that you have never tried before, and in this case, things are people. You need to go out with the guy who maybe doesn’t have all of the physical features you have listed out in the past as being mandatory for your ideal man. Maybe his laugh is too loud, or maybe his job is a bit more rugged and hardcore, compared to the lawyers and bankers you usually surround yourself with.
Make your first impression a lasting one
We’ve all heard it before; “first impressions are everything”. And they really are, there is so much research to back this up. It’s been proven that if we mess up the first impression it’s really hard to recover from. So, therefore, make sure you smile, come across as friendly and open. Maybe being overly bubbly and outgoing isn’t your thing, but you can still take the necessary steps to ensure that you don’t come off as rude or uninterested. Ask a lot of questions and give detailed answers to any questions about you. Find the right balance; you don’t want to go on and on about yourself, but you don’t want to answer questions with one-word answers either. This leads me to the next tip…
Be prepared and curious
As we said before, first impressions are important, and in speed dating, you have a very short amount of time to make this first impression. This actually takes some of the pressure off when you think about it. In a regular date where you’re spending hours with the same person, there is a lot more opportunity for awkward moments, and the like. In speed dating you have a short amount of time, meaning that there is lots to talk about within this time and less of an opportunity for awkward moments. You want to end this speed date on a conversational high note. Make sure to have some creative speed date questions for others.
You want to fill it with ongoing discussion and have that mutual feeling of craving more time together. Think of some obscure questions you could ask your dates that might set you apart from others and create stronger questions. Think about what your personal interests are. Do you love animals? – Ask them about their pets, or their favorite animals, you could even ask them if they were to be an animal which would it be. Are you a thrill seeker? – Ask them where is the craziest place, they’ve ever been, or if they’ve ever been skydiving. Or maybe you are a foodie; you could ask them if they also enjoy cooking, what they’re favorite cuisine is, or their favorite dish.
The point is, make the conversation bright and unique. I’m sure you’ll go through the normal questions regarding their job, school, family, etc. but try and exceed past this to bring out the color of both of your personalities. There’s no perfect formula for exactly what to say at speed dating events, but do some homework and focus on your strengths.
Don’t be discouraged
Okay, so you didn’t like the first guy…. And now you really hate the second guy. Please don’t lose hope! If you don’t want to, you will never have to see them again! And the beauty of speed dating is that it is quick. You don’t like date #2, well don’t worry you won’t be having to run out on an “emergency”, faking sick, or escaping through the bathroom window as you might on a not-so-great regular date. The beauty of speed-dating is that there are many more candidates behind, so just be yourself and don’t worry if you aren’t into all of them. It may leave a bitter taste in your mouth, but if you don’t keep an open mind you might be tainting the awesome men who follow.
Also think of the bright side, if someone is terrible at least you only had to talk to them for a short amount of time. Compared to a regular date, where you might have been stuck with some terrible guy for hours, at least it’s over with quickly. Dating can be hard, but it also can be a lot of fun. And if it doesn’t go great at first, just think of all of the stories you’ll have to tell your friends later on.
Limit your expectations
Don’t disappoint yourself by having expectations that might not come true. You might find your future husband but you could also very well not. See the potential that people have, don’t expect them to be perfect right away and be open to giving them further tries, people will surprise you if given the chance to.
This goes back to not getting discouraged but, don’t get discouraged if you don’t meet Mr. Right at your first event, try again and keep trying. Have fun with it and see it as a fun event or night out, not something so serious that must prove results.
Don’t be afraid to go after what…or who you want
So you really like one of the dates, but you’re a bit shy and don’t know how to make it known that you are definitely interested in taking the next step and seeing them again. We always think that men need to make the first move, but people don’t realize that they get nervous as well. They can be just like us and make excuses as to why we wouldn’t say yes if they asked us out. Men have confidence issues as well!
So, in the face of this, be assertive but friendly and maybe even a bit coy. Give them your number and tell them that you would love to hear from them again. If you don’t feel comfortable being so up front, just walk over to them after the round of dates is over and try and continue the conversation from where you left off. At the very least make some eye contact from across the room with a hint of a smile so they know that you are definitely interested. Who knows, maybe in a few weeks you two will be skydiving or cooking up a filet mignon together.
All in all, you need to go out there with an open mind, limited expectations, a light heart, and a confident allure. And everyone is capable of this! There are no speed dating rules. It might take some practice, and it might take finding just the right speed dating event that fits you. But by taking these tips into practice, you are sure to have a successful night and a great time.